


Doctor Who: Forgetting the memory

by TARDIS_Type40_my_all_time_favourite1986



Series: Doctor Who: Follow me... [4]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Closer to the truth, Darkness, F/M, Fear, Lies of hope, One Shot, Twelve - Clara, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 21:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20664305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TARDIS_Type40_my_all_time_favourite1986/pseuds/TARDIS_Type40_my_all_time_favourite1986
Summary: They were not married, not even betrothed, everyone just assumed that fact, as if the doctor were doing what he should have done long ago.But why does everything suddenly change for him and why does everything feel so wrong and yet so right?





	Doctor Who: Forgetting the memory

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, reader
> 
> Another part of the series, where we are slowly getting closer to the truth that is really happening.
> 
> Have fun!
> 
> Allons-y!

Doctor Who is © by BBC. 

Doctor Who: Forgetting the memory

Several days had passed since he had met his past self and Rose. During that time, he had done everything he could not to cross his own path, because he could tell things that Rose did not know, because it was not disclosed to her.

However, his biggest concern was still Clara's condition, which had not changed in all those weeks. She still lacked the ability to speak, and even as she pretended that everything was alright, he knew it was not.

Now he was lying next to her after having once again followed her passion and just could not believe what luck he had gotten. And yet the very fact that she had lost her voice seemed clouded.

So how could he hope for a happy future when everything around her is so confusing? It seemed to him that he should really be punished for having entered into a relationship with the woman he loved more than others. At least in this incarnation.

That was why he suddenly started to talk about the color of his kidneys, why he said for a long time to her that he did not like hugs, although he wanted nothing more than to just hold her and just never to let go again.

He had to let her go, "forget" her at the very moment when he really wanted to confess his feelings to her and she asked him not to, because she already knew it. And yet he had so often shown her, through paraphrasing, through gestures, and also said he loved her. Since he had seen her with those eyes, he loved her and as long as he had this body, he would always love her.

Clara moved slightly in his arms, but did not wake up. They usually had sex several times in the evening, but this time it stayed the same and she just fell asleep afterwards. Although he wondered if there was a reason for that, he just let this thought be a thought.

He could not sleep even if he had tried. He stayed awake all the time thinking about why he was here. During his time traveling with the TARDIS, he was terrified of losing Clara and he had lost her.

Now they were finally together and again he had to live with the fear that one day she would have disappeared again.

He threw himself on his back and ran both hands over his face. He did not want to think like that, did not want fear to take him. Damn, he should just think about how he wants to shape his future with her.

„Why are you just such a coward?“, He asked softly and suddenly felt his hand being taken. He turned his head slightly to the side and could see Clara, who smiled at him.

He hugged her and could not believe that all of this should be true. Why was he happy, why was she back at his side?

Did not it always mean that something bad will happen if their relationship becomes closer if they both go beyond prohibition?

Clara put a hand on his cheek and the look of her eyes calmed him a little. How much he loved, even though he should not actually do it, alone to protect her life.

„I'm scared“, he finally admitted that she could be honest with her, „afraid that all this could be over in a fraction of a second and that this time I really lose all memories of you. I am very sure that I would not be able to endure even if I could not remember you anymore, my subconscious will do it... Clara, I love you so much and it is painful, but it is not so Bad, as it sounds... That's why I want to ask you one...“

She nodded, realizing what he wanted her to ask. He could not help but laugh with joy. She would marry him, he would become her husband. There was nothing left that could cloud that happiness ...

The days passed and the now engaged couple left all worries behind for the time being and enjoyed each day in full awareness.

„So, here we are“, he opened the door to a jeweler with these words, „I would like to buy you the most expensive ring of all time, but I know that you will reject it anyway.“

She smiled at him with a fierce look and together they went inside the shop where they had already been greeted warmly.

„My fiance wants to pick a ring and since I know her, I will not interfere in her decisions.“

Clara nodded his thanks gratefully and then looked around a bit, until he decided on a ring whose little stone reminds a little of the blue of the TARDIS. 

„So you want this ring?“  
He nodded again and he completed the purchase, thanked the salesman and finally they left the jeweler, who looked after them a bit confused. In all the years he had suffered this business, he had never seen a woman who did not want the most expensive ring in the display.

Sometimes life really did hold one or the other surprise.

~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~ ° ~

Something was wrong. Not at all.

He should still know how they met for the first time and at the time he was just the young man (in appearance, not in old age) with the penchant for crazy headgear...

But his memories were slowly being replaced. In this he believed that he had met Clara after an accident in the hospital. This accident triggered a state of shock in her that kept her from speaking, each time the words came out they were somehow blocked.

The Doctor lost more and more of all the memories he had gathered with Clara for many years, replaced by new ones, false ones that made him think he had met her for the very first time just two years ago.

And Clara, who could remember everything in contrast to him, had no way to tell him the truth, since one morning she woke up in deepest darkness, only accompanied by several voices telling her what mistake she made ...

Darkness, fear, deepest cold.

The Doctor wanted to look around, but only the darkness was his companion. After being regenerated, he landed here and dreamed of spending a lifetime with the woman he loved most in this incarnation, but it was all just a wishful imagination, something that will never happen.

If he had known all this before... No, there was no point thinking about something that never happened.

He would continue to stay alone in this dark, cold place, thinking that he only wanted to see one person again...


End file.
